Taking the Bite Out of Criticism
Sooner or later someone is going to criticize you. It may be your boss or a co-worker. Maybe someone in your family will do it. A classmate or friend may jump on the criticism bandwagon. Or, a total stranger may just express himself about something you just did.
Criticism can be constructive and helpful. But most people don’t know how to give or receive constructive criticism. So, how do you take the bite out of criticism?
God reminds us that “a wise person is hungry for knowledge while the fool feeds on trash” (Proverbs 15:14, NLT). I don’t think most of us want to feed on trash. So, why not try these simple things the next time someone offers up a bit of unsolicited “advice.”
- When someone offers a bit of criticism, resist the urge to defend yourself (just listen and keep your mouth shut).
- After you’ve heard the criticism, utter these words: “Thank you! I’m so glad you care enough about me to share your thoughts with me. I want to take some time to reflect on what you’ve just said. I’ll get back with you in ______ days. Again, thank you.”
- Now, walk away and don’t look back.
- Once you’ve had some time to cool down, ask yourself (and God and maybe others you really value the opinion of) if the criticism could be true. Did you do or say something you should have not done? Was there a better way? Did you cross the line? Has God said anything about it? Or, is this person got their own issues and really deserve a piece of your mind? The thing here is to seek the truth about the criticism. You want to stay out of the trash!
- Now that you’ve got your hands around the truth, you may need to apologize or do something (like take a class on manners or re-write that report). You may not need to do anything if the criticism was unfounded. However, if the criticism was partly true, there may be something you’ll need to do.
- Finally, go back to the person who criticized you in the first place and let him know what you concluded. It will blow his mind that you actually reflected on it, made some changes, and then let him know about it.
I’ve followed these basic steps. They work. You’ll blow your critics minds and grow in the process. Now that’s what I call a win!
Everybody Is Invited
Everybody may be invited, but everyone is not always welcome. In this message I talk about how Jesus taught us to invite and include everyone.
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Let’s get real
I saw a brief video today about a recent survey from LifeWay about reasons people don’t go to church. Here are a few stats:
- 79% say Christianity is more about organized religion than about loving God & people
- 72% say church is full of hypocrites
- 44% say Christians get on my nerves
Wow! It’s time for the church to get real. Instead of fussing, fighting, and selfishness, those who call themselves “Christians” need to start loving God, loving people, and making disciples. Let’s get real.
Praying with Purpose
A couple of Sunday ago I preached at Dexter Baptist Church. In this message I talked about how Jesus taught us to pray by making your minutes count.
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Are You a Christian Atheist?
Starting later this month I am leading a group study at Crossroads Church on Wednesday nights. I was not sure what to teach, so I headed out to Lifeway Store to see what I could find. No sooner had walked in when I saw a book titled The Christian Atheist. After looking at the table of contents and doing a little spot reading, I knew I had the right book. If you want to know what the book is about or what a Christian atheist is, check out the link.
I started reading it today. It is a powerful study that will challenge and help me grow in my own faith. I am not sure how many people will sign-up for the group, but even if no one does I will not regret reading this book.
Vinings Church . . . Moving Forward
Monday was a long day. I did my work at Atlus Hospice, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and then headed out to a planning meeting for Vinings Church. It was a great planning meeting. The team is gearing up to impact a community far from God. It’s exciting to be a part of something that is going to reach a ton of people. Launch day may be more than a year off, but I know it will be here before long. Keep praying!
Prayer begins with . . .
This past Sunday I spoke at Dexter Baptist Church. In this message I talked about the right way our prayers should begin.
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No Shame Here
Rhonda and I enjoyed some grilled spam tonight. Yep, I grilled it. And it was good. Rhonda asked me while eating if I would have hidden the can in grocery cart. I told her that I would not have hidden it. I am a proud of a little spam now and then.
Spam does get a bad rap. I have seen a car drive over a can of Spam. As the spam popped out, it was gross. People make fun of it. Jokes and poems have been written about Spam. Here is an excerpt from a Spam poem:
On some corporate farm, a pig has died. Eyes, tongue, and snout end up inside that cube of Spam hidden in the can I now hold in my trembling hand.
I know Spam is made of ham and um, um, um … Well, it doesn’t really matter. It’s good. We enjoyed it. Clean-up was easy since we grilled it rather than frying it.
No shame here.
Some things are hard to do
There are many things in life that are hard to do. Of them, forgiveness is at the top of the list. Saying “I forgive you” is easy. Meaning it is not. The problem with unforgiveness is that it robs you of real peace. It can lead to some serious anger … at others and life. The biggest problem with unforgiveness is what Jesus said about it … “if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15, NLT). That’s a serious issue!
Forgiveness becomes possible when you realize how much you have been forgiven by God. Just think about all the things you have ever done to hurt others. Think about your own sins. Think about the sacrifice Jesus made so your sins could be forgiven. When you get your eyes focused on the grace of God, you can forgive others.
Here’s the skinny on how to do it. First, who do you need to forgive? Second, what did they take from you? And finally, make a decision to forgive or not hold them responsible for their debt to you. Sound simple? Sound too easy? Well, some things are hard to do. Maybe it’s been hard because you’ve been making the whole forgiveness thing more complicated than God intended.
It’s time to let go of the pain and hurt. Forgive the debt you are owed and experience real peace.
changes coming soon
I have officially started a new job. I am now a chaplain for Altus Healthcare and Hospice in Villa Rica, GA. I am back in ministry! My new job will allow me to minister to hurting people and families while serving on the staff team of Vinings Church. God is good!!!
If you have been a regular reader you have noticed that I have not written a lot lately. I have been working on a new website that will be posted soon. My blog site will be moved. My new website will have a blog page, but the focus will be totally different. I will keep this site to post randon thoughts about life and such. Until then, I will try to write something each day.
Until next time …